Catch the subway
Wang 01 is a programmer.
Wake up with your eyes open and reach for your phone.
Oh, my God. The alarm didn’t go off. I’m late.
Wang 01 hurriedly put on clothes, to the west two flag subway station.
Wang 01 felt that he should run, so he ran, gradually he felt that he ran faster, two legs like two wheels.
How can anyone’s legs run like wheels?
After the security check, the train pulled into the station, everyone rushed to get on the bus — this scene let Wang 01 stunned.
There is an old man, was crowded in the back, I saw his beard a blow, left leg bending, right hand crutches frame on the left leg, a pry, the front of the two hundred pounds of young man like monkey flying out;
A little man rose to his feet in a second or three steps from the top of the crowd to the front of the train. He squatted down and got into the train again, a little man.
“Wow! Wow!” Suddenly there was a cry like an air raid siren, and the woman shouted, “Stop squeezing, stop squeezing, hubby, I gave birth!”
…
Things are getting out of hand.
All kinds of things flying everywhere, watermelons, durians, men, women…
The king one one thurs shrink in the corner, look at a big man that the wall slides slowly down, tremble to take out mobile phone, got through a phone.
“Bug, get me my card and punch in. I’m late for something.”
Wang yi’s company is work card punch card, he left the work card in the company, this is to let his good friend Liu Bage help him punch card.
For Internet people, the most important thing is the “life card”. From the beginning of becoming a programming apprentice, programmers will acquire a piece of their own mandate card, the future training, from programming apprentice, to the initial programmer, intermediate programmer, high order programmer, to the back of the “terrible” big architect…… The programmer’s repair is all condensed in this small job card.
Programmer river’s lake has a overlord faction, called “the universe beat”, this faction of the life of the work card has great power, as long as quietly send out a trace of the life of the work card breath, can let a few square mile of the same order or even high order worship.
In short, this is a very important thing, it is a programmer’s second life. Such important things naturally can not be handled easily in the hands of outsiders, but Liu Bage is different, he can be said to be wang 01’s close friends.
‘Must pay! Mr. Liebach replied.
Wang 01 stayed once, “what?”
“You have to give me the money, 22 yuan, you transfer it to me on wechat.” Mr. Liebach added.
Wang Zero heart seemed to be suddenly caught, with trembling voice asked: “why 22 pieces? What’s the underlying logic?”
“22 dollars is 22 dollars. There are so many reasons.”
“So how do you do that with 22 bucks?”
“Don’t ask, send money.”
“What’s the grip on your behavioral logic? Have you considered how to form a closed loop?”
Drop…… Drop…… Drop……
Liu Bage hung up, so Wang 01 was late.
late
Wang 01 rushed to the company, a tremble, broken, technical director has guarded in the door, the company’s door covered tightly.
Wang 01 catch tight behind the pillar, tiptoe, want to quietly touch the back door of the company. Did not walk a few steps, feel the foot empty, two legs are still trying to go forward, but the neck was lifted up.
Director picked up Wang 01, put him beside the door, conveniently touch out a sign, hanging on wang 01’s neck, above write two big characters – “scab”.
Wang 01 put all his strength to hang down his head.
Looking at the king of his tiptoe 01, suddenly discover the foot of a person much on the side, look up, it is Liu Bage so.
Before they could say anything, thunk, thunk, the inspector walked up to them.
“You guys beep beep beep beep beep…”
Scold the word King 01 automatic filter, just hook a head, lest saliva is direct yi arrive on the face.
All of a sudden, director of a word that let king 01ling.
“How many times did I emphasize not to be late? If I am late, I will lose a month’s salary and get a D for my performance at the end of the year.”
Wang zero instant feeling a blood rush to the brain — “you insult my personality can, but you buckle my money is no good.”
Bastard, endure you for a long time, king 01 raise a head, see two black hole nostril only.
The prefect, leaning on his waist and spreading his legs, kept on scolding.
King 01 lowered his head again,
— Xu Li, aim, pop, a brittle sound, Wang 01’s foot and director’s crotch came to an intimate contact.
The warden, also a tough guy, fell without a word.
Leumbach took a breath, pinched his legs and shrank away.
The company’s security guard seemed to notice the movement and rushed over at a speed of 100 meters without a sprint.
Wang Zero one side have no expression.
Suddenly, Liu-bagh squatted down next to the director, hand to support the director’s arm…
Suddenly, his foot went to the crotch of the director, one foot, two feet, it seemed not enough, Liu Bagg jumped up, two feet together, the whole person fell down, stepped solid, but also twisted a few times.
Liebach closed his eyes and heaved a sigh of enjoyment.
The wig on his head, too, fell from the movement, revealing the top of his shiny head.
Liu Bage looked at Wang 01 and shouted: “01, run, give it to me here”.
Wang yiyi gnash his teeth and gallop toward the outside of the building, glancing back, Liu Bage has been submerged by a group of security guards, only faintly visible a little head, reflecting the light of the right way.
Wang 01 could not help but burst into tears, tears in the air.
There is a starbucks at the door, there is a white collar in a suit and shoes is enjoying starbucks coffee, a few tears float into the cup, the white collar sip a small sip, a wrinkle in the brow, and then stretch out — is salt, I drank the starbucks with salt, took out the mobile phone, a burst of fierce pat on the cup.
In Starbucks, there is a list of drinks — latte, 22 yuan for a medium cup!
The interview
Ran out of the building, Wang 01 look at all at a loss, DO not know where to go, then the mobile phone received a text message, Wang 01 heart move, a look:
“Depend, owe fee!”
Sighed, feel empty pocket, king 01 decision looks for a job first.
I made an appointment for an interview.
The interviewer, a slight, sullen man, sat behind a large, dimly lit desk, his face dimmed.
After introducing yourself, the interviewer begins the interview.
“Do you know how to do Java garbage collection with 360?”
“This……”
“A cow weighs 800 kilograms. A bridge can hold 700 kilograms. How can the cow cross the bridge?”
“I…” .
“Well, that’s all for the interview.”
The interviewer packs up and leaves. When I left, I thought of something and asked, “Why did you leave your last job?
Wang zero one complexion tangle, “I gave the technical director dozen.”
The interviewer paused and said, “Is it ***?”
“Yes.”
Hahaha…
The interviewer burst into laughter and slapped the heavy desk in two.
“** dog thief, he also has today, I think K he a long time. Young man, you don’t need the interview. Come to work right now, and I’ll take care of you.”
induction
Wang 01 entered a new company like this.
Got work card, computer, King 01 was arranged a station.
Next to him is a white and handsome little brother, who looks very talkative.
“Hello, my name is ah Guang.”
“Hello, I call Wang 01.”
“Hey, you know about the scallion ripping lately.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t like it. Tear green to be a programmer, hey hey, I am a programmer, specific what member, is I want to become a member of your family. …”
“What an imagination you have!
After hearing the praise, Ah Guang became even more excited. His white face turned red slowly, and heat was rising from his head.
Suddenly, bam!
Ah Guang’s head exploded like skittles! — Really imagination burst!
Wang 01 scared a big jump, a head into the ceiling, two legs vigorously flapping, struggling not to come out.
One two hands lug the leg of King 01, exert oneself forcibly, pulled him out.
“Thank you!” Wang 01 looked at the people to help, and scared, good this just jumped to the table.
Wang 01 tightly biting his right hand finger — the original drag his this person, the head is a big bulb.
“Zero one, I am ah guang ah!”
Listen to be the voice of a light, King 01 TSK TSK, this light bulb from which hair voice.
“01, I finally know why I am so smart, excellent, beautiful, my parents don’t call me a cong, a xiu, a hua, originally know I will shine sooner or later.” A light excitedly say — the king 01 eyes of bright light can not open.
Wang 01 mood a bit complex, shan shoulder of a rainbow candy, do not want to talk more.
“Why don’t your parents call you A-Ming or A-ryo?”
“Yes. Why don’t you call me Armin or Ryo?” Ah Guang sat back at his workstation and began to meditate. Big lights flickered and the office looked like it was welding.
coding
Wang 01 feel can’t sit down next to a light again, his eyes are quick by flash blind.
Carry a computer, king 01 quietly moved to the side of a person little house.
Take a breath deeply, king 01 feels smell some wrong, do not fall for it nevertheless.
Slowly, the smell is heavier and heavier, wang 01 finally could not help but.
“Who the fuck took a shit?”
Have a colleague, come over to pull wang 01, pointed to point to the corner.
There was a man in the corner, with tousled and thinning hair and a shabby checkered shirt, dirty and torn.
This man is kong Yiji.
Kong Yiji used to be an architect, but the code is not good, but the seniority is old, and then always want to go on what medium, high concurrency, the boss lost a lot of money, they can hardly go on.
Fortunately, kong Yiji had done some ancestral projects. The code was smelly and the technology was old, so kong Yiji was asked to do some maintenance work.
The stench came from Kong yiji’s code.
Colleagues seem to be accustomed to this smell, Wang 01 sit for a long time, finally can not endure.
He plugged his nostrils and put on three layers of masks. Walk behind Kong Yiji.
“Dude, can I see your code?”
Kong Yiji seems to have no one for a long time to answer, someone came over, looking very happy, from the drawer to touch three keys, lined up, a careful look, the original is Ctrl, C, V.
Kong Yiji gave up his seat.
Wang 01 sat down to see the code, only feel the eyes hot raw pain.
Kong Yiji wanted to find some words to talk about, but they were all closed – loop, playing style, forced, landing and so on.
Wang 01 also did not take reason, Kong Yiji only when he is young, do not understand these jargon.
For a long time, Kong Yiji seemed to think that Wang 01 probably understood the design pattern, so he approached.
“Do you know the four ways to write a singleton?”
Wang pointed to the code and said, “Have you really seen the design patterns? How can we even use the policy pattern optimization if-else? “
Kong yiji blushed and said something about “agile development” and “continuous integration”. Everyone laughed and the office was filled with happy air.
rest
Wang Zero looked up again and again, the night was deep.
The stench in the room seemed to subside a little.
Looking back, a camp bed, Kong Yiji has been sound asleep, said to hear not clear talk in his sleep, seems to also drag some text, “not much not much! Many what? Not much.”
Wang 01 sigh, should go home to rest.
Wang 01 out of the company, at this time there are many people in the park.
Wang 01 walked, pedestrians have retreated.
“This person is afraid to step on excrement?”
“Shit doesn’t smell so bad? I’m afraid it fell into the excrement mountains?”
“What does this man do? Is it muckraking?”
“Is there still muckraking these days?”
…
Wang 01 blocked a taxi, the driver is near, refueling door ran.
Several are, wang 01 know today hit less than a car.
Found a bench in the devious place, lie up, the work card carefully tucked into the chest, from behind the buttocks touch out a book, turned over a few pages, King 01 fell asleep.
Then the book was folded over his face, and the title was written in large letters —
Self-cultivation of code Farmers
This article is purely entertainment, everyone when the novel read, happy happy line!
Thanks to the imagination of the man – code farming novelist a light big man guest!