IT: Seattleit
【 today’s author 】 Littlelann
One full of humanistic feelings
Web front end comedian
Do you still remember the classical Chinese that you learned as a child? At the end of the fifth half year, I suddenly felt that those classical Chinese stories about programmers are like this…
The code says
[Tang] Han Yu
“There are bole in the world, and then there are thousand-li horses. Swift horses are common, but bole is not. So although a famous horse, only disgrace to the hands of slaves, die between the hornbeam, not to thousands of miles.”
The translation:
First there were bole, then there were code workers who could write a thousand lines of code a day. Code workers who can write a thousand lines a day are common, but bole is not. Even if there is such a coder, if the PM every day to order him around, or only to fix bugs and config chores, then what is a thousand line of coder?
“If a horse travels thousands of miles, a grain or a stone can be eaten. Horse eaters do not know that they can travel thousands of miles to eat. Is a horse, although there are thousands of miles of energy, food is not enough, strength is not enough, just beautiful, and to the horse and often can not get, so it can be thousands of miles?”
The translation:
Daily write thousands of lines of code work, write a line should take a line of money. Employers should be aware of this when making offers. People can write thousands of lines, but you have to pressure the offer of people, money is not in place, there will be no drive. A nine-to-five job is good enough for you. Why 996? 007?
“… Take the policy and come, yue: there is no horse in the world! Alas! Is it really innocent? I really don’t know horses.”
The translation:
… I’m a boss who tells everyone there’s nobody who can write code! I have a mother to sell approval! Do you really think they can’t write code? Not ah! But they really don’t know how to pick up women.
Ventriloquism (Excerpt)
[Qing] New Records of the Beginning of Yu
“There are ventriloquists in Beijing. Will guests banquet, in the northeast corner of the hall, eight feet of the barrier, ventriloquist sit in the barrier.”
The translation:
There was a man in The capital who was very good at his job. It was lunch time, in his Cube in the northeast corner of the Open Office, and that’s how the action in his place began.
“… Suddenly one people shout: fire! Russia and thousands of people shout, thousands of children cry, thousands of dogs bark. Hot sound, shout the wind, hundreds of qi; And clip thousands of cries for help, drag the house, snatching sound… So the guests all discolored to leave the table, vigorous sleeves out of arms, two strands of war, several want to go first.”
The translation:
… I thought I heard someone yell, “Burn the damn thing!” Then it seemed that thousands of people followed, people crying, dogs barking, lighting, help, demolition, tearing, everything! How scary! Scared around the colleagues to eat, two flap buttocks can not sit all stand up, chicken want to go first.
“And suddenly stroke the ruler, the group rang off. Take off the screen to see it, a person, a table, a chair, a fan, a ruler.”
The translation:
Finally, as the keyboard crashed to the ground, the sound stopped. What’s all the fuss? Colleagues peered into his cube, which was nothing more than a desk, a chair, a button, a mouse, a mainframe, and a programmer looking at a customer requirements document.
(Excerpt)
[Qing] Strange Tales from A Chinese studio
(Cricket. Crickets were played in the Ming Court.
“Xuande, the palace is still woven drama, age sign folk.”
The translation:
In the Xuande period of the Ming Dynasty, the upper echelon of the company suddenly showed interest in bugs and conveyed a policy to fix bugs as one of the main achievements.
“The city has a famous person, will levy promotion, into dare not collect account, and no compensation, depressed about death. My wife said, “What good is death? We’d better search for them ourselves, just in case.”
The translation:
There is a programmer called Cheng in the group, was required by the boss to submit the progress of bug repair, but can not get the results, depressed to death. His wife said, what’s the use of dying? Why don’t you go to your code base and pick up a bug or two?
“… That is, they catch three or two, but they are not good enough. Zai Yan limit chase ratio, more than ten days, the rod to 100, between the two pus and blood displacement, and insects can not be caught. Turn the head of the bed and think of committing suicide.”
The translation:
… Chin did find a couple of minor bugs later on, but they were mostly below P2 or SEV4, making it difficult to make a difference. At the end of the month, as expected, I failed to complete the performance, and was scolded by the boss so that blood gushed between my legs. Even DEBUG lost his energy, and collapsed on the bed in anger and illness, wishing to die.
…
…
“Yi Shi shi said, ‘If the emperor uses an object occasionally, it may not be forgotten. And the follower is the rule. To the official corrupt officials abuse, people stick women to sell children, more endless. Therefore, the son of Heaven a kuibu, are closed people’s lives, not suddenly also. ‘”
The translation:
By the way, we should pay attention to bugs. The following managers have various KPI indicators corresponding to them. When will this bad wind end? For upstairs, may be just a word, and for the bottom of the code, but it is really to use life to spell ah!
Seattle IT industry original
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