01
Q: which son of Kangxi does program ape hate most? .
A. Forseti, the emperor’s eldest son
C. There is no doubt about it
B. The third son of the emperor
D. Yunrok, the 16th son of the Emperor
C. there is no rest D. There is no rest Because he’s a bug.
02
The programmer had three children, named Ctrl, Alt and Delete, and if they didn’t behave, all he had to do was tap them at the same time…
03
Peach Blossom Temple: The Monkey program
Office building office room, office room in the program ape.
Program personnel write program, and will program for wine money.
Wake up in front of the screen only sit, drunk to screen sleep.
Drunk wake up day after day, screen before screen next year after year.
I hope to die between computers, unwilling to bow before the boss.
Benz BMW expensive person interest, the bus self-procedure ape.
Others laugh at me too crazy, I laugh at their life is too cheap.
But see the street beautiful younger sister, which belongs to our program ape!
04
You don’t need to use a gun to kill a coder, you only need to change requirements three times.
05
Some program ape to buy meat, wanted a kilogram, get fair electronic scale on a say: “forehead…… How come 24 grams are missing?”
06
Ape A: “I give you A brain teaser, you say Da Vinci code above is what?”
Ape B: “It’s… That’s too hard… Don’t know”
Ape A: “Stupid! The Da Vinci code is the Da Vinci account number, what is the Da Vinci code below?”
Ape B: “I… This…… Still don’t know…”
Monkey A: “Yes, Da Vinci VERIFICATION code O (*≧▽≦)ツ”
07
08
Program ape pursuit small elder sister not, tearful cross-examine: I in your eyes what? ! The little sister replied: the real person version of Windows optimization master……
09
Colleague said, he wrote “i++” when the total feel of their own writing is “I fuck”, have the same feeling?
10
Summarize the relationship between HTML, CSS and JS in one sentence. HTML is a noun, JS is a verb, and CSS is an adjective and adverb.
11
The girl friend say to the program ape: “Forbidden City occupies the place good big ah!” Programmer ape: “Kill that child process…”
12
New Year couplets for programmers:
Top: a piece of infatuation two do not pull a few lu three lines of four code out of five warning six mistakes in the heart of the butterflies in the stomach although nine death is very painful
Ten Years of Youth Nine years of study hard to learn eight and seven kinds of Languages kneel six great gods five Ways geek at four or three hours a day it’s hard to live long and die in one day
13
The programmer reacts to a bug:
· How is it possible;
In my this is good, do not believe you to have a look;
· It’s strange, it was fine just now;
· It must be a data problem;
· Try clearing the cache;
· Restart the computer and try;
· Who wrote the code;
· Why is He still using 360 security browser?
· Users don’t operate like you do.
14
Hospital back to the program ape a face of helpless pain.
Program yuan: What’s wrong?
Procedural ape: I have rheumatoid arthritis. I’m afraid it will be passed on to the next generation.
Program yuan: Who says rheumatoid arthritis can be hereditary?
Program ape a face surprise: class is not inherited?
15
If life cheats you, don’t be sad, don’t be anxious, The Code will always be there for you…
16
One of them caught a mermaid. The mermaid had a beauty on her upper body and a fish on her lower body. So the ape set her free, and the other asked him: Why? “He replied: There is no API
17
Programming night at noon, holding a mouse.
Who knows programming xin, line all heart bitter.
Dazed unconscious xiao, rubbing his eyes hard.
Night is too hard, sleep knows how much.
18
The program ape’s four ideal: the South Pole has a suite, Australia has a flock of sheep, the world computer dies light, the child has a mother.
19
Program ape’s reading history:
20
Random functions can help you achieve family harmony:
Talk(){top word(1)= "yes!" ; Word (2)= "Yes!" ; Word (3)= "Then what?" ; Word (4)= "reasonable"; i=random(4); say word(i) goto top; }Copy the code21
There are three disadvantages that programmers often stay up late:
First, memory is getting worse.
Second, counting is often wrong;
Fourth, memory is getting worse and worse.
22
A boy in the computer department chased a girl in his class, but she always tried to dodge him. Male see have no drama, looked for another to chase after, result this female is not satisfied, query this male why abandon her.
The man asks, “Ask me a computer question. What if you click on a program and it always says’ no response ‘?”
The woman said, “End the process immediately.”
The man replied, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
23
People who use IE6 eat instant noodles without flavorings, do you know…
24
The programmer went to the interview and the interviewer asked, “You’ve only graduated two years. How did you get your three years of experience?” Program ape answer: “work overtime.”
25
“Why are you so successful?” asked the programmer.
Kobe: “Do you know what it’s like in Los Angeles at four in the morning?”
Program ape: “know, usually at that time I still write code, why?”
Kobe Bryant: “Uh… .”
26
The wife calls the husband of the program ape: “come off work along the way buy a catty steamed stuffed bun to bring back, if see sell watermelon of, buy 1.”
That night, the husband holding a steamed stuffed bun into the house……
Wife anger way: “how did you buy a steamed stuffed bun? !”
The husband answer: “because saw sell watermelon.”
27
The net friend sends a post to ask: “everybody JR, I want to make a program ape, what should I pay attention to please…”
Some ape: “wait for me to go off work to tell you……”
Then… There is no next
28
“IT is too hard. What if I want to change my profession?”
“Press Enter.”
29
A program ape decided to practice calligraphy after retirement, so heavily buy the four treasures of the study. One day, after the meal suddenly unripe elegant xing, one time grind ink imitate paper, and dot go up good sandalwood. Calm down for a moment, splash ink, solemnly write a line of words: Hello world!
30
Programape: I really want to make the world a better place, but they won’t give me the source code…
